Fun With Words–Deciphering Foster’s Newest Signage

We know that Foster’s newest signage—you know, the impossible-to-miss posters peppering Euro Classic Furniture, Mt. Scott Fuel and others—doesn’t leave much room for interpretation. Aside from some questionable grammar, the messages are pretty clear: keep Foster fast and congestion-free for commuters.

Despite the loud-and-clear message, we’ve taken our cut-and-paste skills to the task in an attempt to decipher what they might really be trying to say. And then we changed things around to better fit our liking.

Let’s start with Euro Classic Furniture. God bless Mr. Shleifer—his heart very well could be in the right place. But….
Screen Shot 2016-04-04 at 6.13.01 PM

Ok, we took some liberties with this one. Nonetheless, we can’t help but notice how an “us versus them” mentality is being perpetuated here. One group doesn’t have to be pitted against the other. Pedestrians have power, too, and they just want some assurance of safety. Ditto for bikers. And the drivers who don’t like driving Foster, too. And just to be clear, there’s no evidence to suggest the road configuration will lead to “total gridlock…forever.”
Screen Shot 2016-04-04 at 7.19.49 PM

In the above photos, we’ve contrasted two very simplified views on why the Streetscape Plan is the anti-Christ, and why it’s the second coming. We’d like to see someone scramble the letters to better resemble the message on the right.

Now onto Foster’s newest and largest anti-streetscape sign. (Well, “sign” doesn’t do it justice. It’s a larger-than-city-code-allows banner.)
Screen Shot 2016-04-04 at 2.13.41 PM

Naturally, in the above photos, we jive better with the bottom two.

Something tells us that we’ll be seeing more of these in the weeks and months to come.

* All photos and commentary were done in good humor. We know this is not a simple issue. And we also know that many people have valid reasons for being skeptical of the changes coming to Foster. 

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11 Responses to Fun With Words–Deciphering Foster’s Newest Signage

  1. Adam Herstein says:

    People also commute by bike and foot!

  2. E. M. Willis says:

    I want to make a poster for Euro Furniture, turned in toward the inside of the store, saying “Why don’t you want people to come into your store?”

  3. Robert Squired says:

    Or a sign for Euro Furniture that asks, “Who comes into your store?” Jon’s store’s time has passed. Business has been tanking for him for a few years now, and maybe his anger addresses that more than any perception that a safer Foster will kill his business.

  4. Chris says:

    My favorite sign is “HOW WILL YOU DRIVE WHEN FOSTER IS 2 LANES?!?!”…. Uhhh…. the same way I drove when Foster was 4 lanes…in my car, using my feet to operate the gas..

  5. Rufus Dufus says:

    Foster would look a whole lot better without the hideous furniture displays, not to mention the gaudy paint job! Let’s cross our fingers and hope he moves his business somewhere else.

  6. N says:

    You can add Diane’s to the list as well.

  7. hamellr says:

    I know there has been a study on the actual traffic impact, but have not been able to find in. Does anyone know in seconds/minutes, what is the actual expected increase in commute time will be down Foster?

  8. Now the Phoenix pharmacy building has the huge banners too. I can’t wait for the streetscape project to break ground.

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