“Do you daydream of fat beats and crispy meats?”
– from Bob White event promo
It’s ok. I don’t know what that means either. Well, fat beats is pretty straight forward. But crispy meats?
Code-speak? Part of a younger, hipper vernacular?
Shit if I know.
But if there’s a live show promising a “fat beat” and “crispy meat” combo, it’s sure to capture one’s curiosity at the least. Right?
Here’s more of the same promo:
“Do you daydream of fat beats and crispy meats? Of scantily clad Ravers hand-feeding you bacon while the bass assaults your senses? Of an event chock-full of glovers, dancers, free food, and great Kikwear giveaways?”
Curiosity still piqued? Yes. Slightly weirded out, too? Yep.
Ok, final details for the show, dubbed “Baconology“:
“Celebrating the 50th day of the Season of Aftermath, we will be providing an amazing lineup of hardcore, hard dance, breaks, hardstyle and MOAR!
Arctic Productions and Neon Rainbow Mindfuck are teaming up to make these delicious fantasies into smoked, cured, and fried realities! Bacon options including pig, turkey, and veggie, along with innovative bacon presentations yet to be revealed!”
What in the Land of Ooo is happening here? Movies would be so much easier.
And it gets better. Well, not better. But…
Here’s another show to blow your mind:
“Embark on a safari of raging proportions! Join us as two of Portland’s top productions companies team up like never before with 2 stages of absolute untamed madness! So get your inner beast on, and dress like your favorite animal because its going to be a jungle in here! There will be a costume contest and free VIP tickets will get handed to the two best dressed beasts.”
At least it’s not a strip club, right? It’s like being happy with Mitt Romney because it could have been Newt Gingrich. Oh wait, none of those worked out.