Eric Raymond Almaguer aka “Daddy”

Eric Raymond Almaguer aka “Daddy”
E: mrgoodtime@hotmail.com

I’m going to make this simple as to avoid confusion and possible incarceration: My name is Eric and I’m a degenerate. I like to drink in excess, say outlandish things and generally create awkward situations whenever possible. Why? I’m not really sure. I think it’s because I was never held as a child. I was born in Sacramento, CA in 1974 at the same time a Smallpox epidemic was ravishing India. Although geographically I was never in any danger, that doesn’t stop me from boasting of being a pandemic survivor.

More man than legend, and really not even that much man, I graduated from the Academy of Arts College in San Francisco with a degree in Film, then moved to Los Angeles to pursue a career in screenwriting. My first script, “The Substitute Dick”, was optioned by an independent producer. My second script, “Fat Jockey”, was picked up by an agent and shopped around town where it eventually won The Writer’s Arc Fellowship Screenwriting Award. During the fellowship, I wrote my third script, “Real Men Don’t Need Closure”, which landed several meetings with producers and studio executives.

Recently, my cousin asked me to marry her. Not in the sense that Kentuckians marry their cousins, rather, to become a Holy Vessel and preside over her ceremony in an official capacity. With the click of a button, the internets made me a man of the cloth. I’m now fully licensed to perform every function of the church except circumcisions. Speaking of circumcisions, I recently had my first baby boy, Lyric James Almaguer, who is music to my heart. I currently live in sin in Portland, OR with my MILFy girlfriend, her 3-year old son, our 5-month old baby, and my giant box of wine. We enjoy eating Top Ramen and huddling by the trash fire in the center of our kitchen where we burn my short stories for warmth.